So we literally have found the worst house in the best street.

Look at the old girl!

 

So we missed out on the house we wanted by a measly five grand. Which is actually quite a bit in reality, but doesn’t seem much when we are attempting to spend half a million dollars that we don’t actually have on a house which would probably be a giant sinkhole sucking in all our finances for ever and ever. I was a little bit relieved, because it would have been a shitload of work. I have a feeling that the dude who bought it will bulldoze the house and put a block of units up. Bastard.

But no fear! We have our eye on another falling-down, peeling, rotting, near-condemnable dump! It is in Coburg, just off Moreland Rd. We have driven past and it looks like crap (by crap I mean AWESOME) and are going to the open for inspection tonight. I spoke to the agent on the phone and he mentioned that it is nearly a tear-down job, which makes me excited at NOT tearing it down and restoring it reminiscent of it’s glory days. Anyway, it is a Californian bungalow painted bright blue, like some sort of Miami beach house transplanted into a leafy Coburg Street. And we all know I have a thing for shitty houses overzealously painted in rainbow hues (Ref Exhibit A).

And because I like to get overly emotionally attached to houses before I have even inspected them, I have found a good kindergarten and park nearby, located my nearest supermarket, mapped how long it will take to get to my best friend‘s house, introduced myself to the neighbours and planted some tomatoes in the yard (I jest, I jest).

We will need to look at the place, do a thorough budget of how much it will cost us to renovate, plug the numbers into our awesome “are we going to lose all our money and have to eat only baked beans fur the next 30 years” spreadsheet, which is literally titled ‘Awesome Spreadsheet’ on my desktop, then make an offer they can’t resist.

Seriously, as if I am grown up enough for this shizzle (She says as she eats cream cheese out of the tub whilst dancing to Beyonce in a ridiculously messy kitchen).

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